Some Mornings I Wake up Angry

I don’t know if it is weird dreams, my cold house, the alarm going off in the pitch black, my cat insisting on waking me up at 5am with some creature she’s brought me from the garden or depression. But when that alarm goes off some mornings I am pissed off. Thats the first feeling I get for the day.

I’m angry that I’ve got to freeze my butt off getting ready for work. I’m annoyed with myself that I can’t get up any earlier than 6am and I have no time for breakfast, I shower, dress and drive to work.

I don’t mind the drive to work, I listen to National radio. It’s calming and informative with a business update at 6:45am just as I’m pulling into work. One day they’ll be like, Abano shares go up by 1000% all holders can now retire! Sometimes on the drive to work I fantasise about missing my turn off. I’ll just keep driving I think, I’ll drive to Napier, I’ll buy a house in Hastings. I’ll wander the vineyards. But I never do it. I always make that right hand turn. Queueing with the other hundred or so people that start shift at 7am.

The first thing I do at work is make coffee and make my co-workers coffee. Cause thats breakfast. Then while we all break some minor health and safety code we drink coffee at our work stations.

As you may have guessed I’m not a morning person, but coffee and some nice repetitive routine work is just the thing to bring me to life…..except I have to endure a robust dissection of last nights “bachelor” episode.

At 10:30am I’ll treat myself to breakfast and check the sharemarket. Nope, can’t retire yet.

I’ll spend some time dealing with a supplier claiming they can’t supply us with ph6 buffer anymore until I send them my approved handlers certificate. WTF (Vinegar, VINEGAR from the supermarket is more harmful than this stuff!) I scan my approved handler certs and email them off. Meanwhile my bulk chemical supplier sends me 20L drums of flammable petrochemicals with incorrect labelling. No certification required.

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My boss gets on my case about spelling dnagerous wrong in an email to the compliance officer. Gah sometimes I’m just smashing out emails in the few minutes I have spare between getting through all our pathology specimens for the day. Note to self …. must be mor eproffesional.

I eat some leftovers for lunch and go back to work for a few more hours.

And really its nothing to be angry about. Its just ordinary. Nothings that horrible. I’m not mistreated or underpaid (up for debate). I’m not the victim of sexual harassment or workplace bullying.

It’s just simple everyday stuff.

I’m not sure why I feel so ragey in the mornings. Maybe its a micronutrient deficiency. I kinda hope so.

I go home and spend time with my husband, he tells me of all the good things that happened to him today, we hassle the teenager about all the hair dye on the pillow cases and nag about leaving the heat on in their room with all the windows open. Cook some rare beef for dinner with a sesame sauce. Cups of tea after dinner and few laughs later I feel like a normal person.

By bedtime I’m not angry anymore.

I’m me again…… at least until 6am.

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